1. 5 Expectations That Ruin a Marriage

    March 23, 2017 by Paul Chappell

    holding-hands

    One of Terrie’s early, unspoken expectations of marriage was that I would help around the house. Shortly after we were married, we had invited company over for dinner. I noticed she was stressed with the preparations and offered to help. I was pleased with how delighted she was at my offer and silently congratulated myself on my sensitivity and kindness.

    Then I rolled up my sleeves and tackled what looked to me like the biggest project—alphabetizing the bookshelf.

    Although we both laugh at that incident now, it didn’t strike Terrie funny then. But it was one of our early discoveries of how easily expectations collide in marriage.

    It is expectations and misunderstandings like these that set couples up for an ongoing stream of disappointment. In marriage counseling, we almost always find that marital disappointment comes from unrealistic, and often unspoken, expectations spouses have one of another. (more…)


  2. How You Can Be a Blessing to the Sisk Family

    March 6, 2017 by Paul Chappell

    Sisks

    Words cannot express how thankful I am that the Lord brought Dr. Don Sisk into my life over twenty-five years ago. 

    I will never forget the day I met him at a pastor’s fellowship in Atlanta, Georgia. The meeting turned out to be non-edifying and issue-orientated, and before it was over, I found myself seated on the back row in a session, wondering why I had even come. 

    Minutes later, a white-haired man with a big smile sat down next to me and introduced himself as Don Sisk. Learning I was a pastor, he gave me his recent book, Joyful Giving

    Dr. Sisk and I look back on that meeting and chuckle. During the meeting, we both (separately) wondered why we had come. Today, both of us realize that God led us there for the very simple reason of meeting each other. 

    Over the years, Dr. Sisk has become one of my dearest friends and most-trusted mentors. He loves the Lord, loves God’s people, and loves the lost like no other man I know.  (more…)


  3. 7 Practices to Build into Your Annual Calendar

    December 26, 2016 by Paul Chappell

    planner

    If planning counts as productivity, the week between Christmas and New Year’s is my most productive! This is my week for setting goals and planning out the “big rocks” in my calendar for the coming year.

    I have found that if I am to wisely steward the multiple roles God has entrusted to me—including husband, dad, grandfather, pastor, college president, friend, and more—it helps if I set aside blocks of time for what is central to meeting these roles.

    In other words, I can’t just hope it will all get done or assume my calendar will clear throughout the year. I need to be intentional about carving out time for what God has entrusted to me to accomplish.

    Here are some I work in every year. (If you’re not a pastor, yours will be a little different, but hopefully this list will give you a clearer picture of what yours would be.) (more…)


  4. 10 Basic Marriage Truths Every Christian Spouse Should Know

    February 13, 2016 by Paul Chappell

    heart-in-the-sand

    My wife Terrie and I were blessed to celebrate our thirty-fifth wedding anniversary last December. Every day—and more—I thank the Lord for Terrie and the gift of being her husband. Proverbs 18:22 is absolutely fulfilled in my life through her: “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.”

    A marriage that endures through the decades is the result of God’s grace through two people who are committed to one another. Sometimes as I counsel couples, I’m reminded of how important it is when it comes to marriage to keep the basics in mind. If we forget the basic truths about biblical marriage, we easily make assumptions that, over time, undermine the marriage relationship.

    Here are ten basics—in no particular order—that every married Christian should remember: (more…)


  5. 15 Real Ways to Honor Your Wife

    February 13, 2015 by Paul Chappell

    holding-hands

    I’ve read 1 Peter 3:7 hundreds—if not thousands—of times.

    Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.—1 Peter 3:7

    This verse is rich with marital counsel to husbands, and I use it often in counseling.

    • Dwell with them according to knowledge: Really know what her needs are as well as her likes, dislikes, and preferences.
    • As unto the weaker vessel: Remember she has special needs, and be sensitive to them.
    • As being heirs together of the grace of life: Treat your wife as an equal—as heirs together of God’s grace.
    • That your prayers be not hindered: If a husband is not being sensitive to his wife, he is limiting his access to answered prayer.

    But while I was meditating on this verse several months ago, a phrase that I had not given much thought to hit me like a lead pipe:

    Giving honour unto the wife…

    That’s contrary to how men think. We think it is our wives who are to give us honor. But in that moment, the Holy Spirit said to me, “You don’t honor Terrie as much as you could.” (more…)