Growth Points 015: How to Help People Who Don’t Want to Be Helped

May 7, 2012 by Paul Chappell

(If you cannot see this video in your RSS reader or email, you can watch it here.)

As a spiritual leader, you have probably discovered that not everyone who needs your help comes to you for it.

When it comes to receiving counsel and direction, I’ve noticed three categories of people:

  • Those who come to me before a problem surfaces and ask me if I see areas in their lives that could be strengthened or need to be addressed.
  • Those who discover a need for help through a trial or discomfort and then come and ask for counsel.
  • Those who are going through a problem or turmoil, but either don’t sense their need or don’t ask for help.

So what do you do as a spiritual leader when you see a person in your care who is struggling but isn’t coming to you for help?

In this week’s Growth Points video, I suggest a few responses.

Make sure you get all future Growth Points videos by subscribing to the Spiritual Leadership Podcast.


  1. Just wanted to say a quick thank you. This quick word was a tremendous blessing to me today as I am dealing w/ a few diffferent families in this particular frame of mind. Please keep uo the great work.

    Comment by Paul Gaymon — May 8, 2012 @ 12:15 pm

  2. Thank you for this post and the tremendous resources on this site!!!Numbers 6 24-26

    Comment by David Hayes — May 10, 2012 @ 10:29 am

  3. Just came across this resource and it was very timely. My wife and I are trying to help a couple in our church who are going through some tough times, but are reluctant to receive help and guidance. Appreciate your ministry and faithfulness to the Word of God.

    Comment by Norman Aabye — March 23, 2014 @ 4:57 am

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